I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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