her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize