I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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