Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Still dying that you shit outside
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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