soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
