i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
