you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
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