I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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