I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just had sex on a roof
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize