It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
