allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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