we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
