Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
