Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
