Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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