if you like me you must not know who I am
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
