can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
don't judge my taste in strippers
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize