he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
