can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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