don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
