I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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