just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
