man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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