Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
