OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
