Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
