ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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