Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
