Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
