my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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