It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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