I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
