yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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