so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
love makes seman taste better
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
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