i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize