she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Drunk is not a location!
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
