Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
So many bounce houses so little time
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
