I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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