Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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