What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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