Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
