so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize