hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just googled if crying burns calories
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
