Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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