Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Randomize
