I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize