You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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