Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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