I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize