3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Oh god it's open bar.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
