two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
