So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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