That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Randomize
