So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize