You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
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