just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
