My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
