i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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