ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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