Whoa Z and x make the same sound
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Randomize