I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
