Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
