you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
