i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
