the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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