There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
