she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
