Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
