He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
