Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
