Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
