grandma shit on top of the toilet
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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