im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
i now understand why vodka
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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