i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize