Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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