using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
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