there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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