I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
