I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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