And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
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