I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
