and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
